Hardware does what it is told.

Hardware is important, powerful and physical, but alas it can only do what it is told.

Hardware Rules

  1. There is no such thing as -faster- systems. Whenever a new or faster system is installed, it will be loaded with software that was too much for the old system. The new system then becomes as slow as the old system.
  2. The price always goes down after you purchase hardware.
  3. You never have enough speed, disk space, memory, com-links, graphics, and so on. If you ever get it all, there isn't enough time to learn how to use it.
  4. It always takes 3 trips to the store to get the hardware working. (Plumbing also)
  5. Whenever the oldest piece of hardware is upgraded, the next oldest piece of hardware instantly becomes obsolete and must be upgraded also.
  6. Whenever hardware is updated, software must be updated also. (See Software #30 )
  7. As soon as you pay off your hardware purchase, it will be time to upgrade.
  8. Hardware becomes affordable just before it is obsolete.
  9. When a fix for a hardware problem is not obvious, the problem is blamed on the software. (See software #27 )
  10. Hardware maintenance contracts are sold for new machines that don't need them. Hardware maintenance contracts are not sold for old machines that do need them.
  11. Use expensive hardware. No one questions the data from an expensive computer, even if they know the input was garbage.
  12. Using computers built to 'Minimum Hardware Requirements' will yield minimal results.
  13. Computer hardware is leased for a minimum of twice its useful life span.
  14. A lan is like a chain, it is only as good as the weakest link.
  15. A lan will be loaded with 4 times the data it was designed for. Designing with the overload in mind will not help. (See Hardware rule #1 )
  16. The more money you save on buying hardware, the more you will spend on installation, repairs, maintenance and software. (Story)
  17. Heterogeneous networks will work given time and money. (See software rule #66 )
  18. All input devices are like cats. They will ignore you at times just to remind you who is boss.
  19. When someone wants to give you a free computer, it might be good to look a gift horse in the mouth. (Story)
  20. Hardware without a good driver is just another brick. (Story)
  21. Definitions for those funny hardware slang names. 
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 Version 2.1

 Hardware Rules last updated Jan 3, 2024

Hardware page last update Jan 3, 2024

 These rules do not reference any specific person, company or software package. They are comical exaggerations of the occurrences of everyday life in the field of software and hardware. Any relation to events anywhere past, present or future is entirely coincidental.