Hardware does what it is told.
Hardware is important, powerful and physical, but alas it can only do
what it is told.
- There is no such thing as -faster- systems.
Whenever a new or faster system is installed, it will be loaded with
software that was too much for the old system. The new system then
becomes as slow as the old system.
- The price always goes down after you purchase hardware.
- You never have enough speed, disk space, memory, com-links,
graphics, and so on. If you ever get it all, there isn't enough time to
learn how to use it.
- It always takes 3 trips to the store to get the hardware
working. (Plumbing also)
- Whenever the oldest piece of hardware is upgraded, the next
oldest piece of hardware instantly becomes obsolete and must be
- Whenever hardware is updated, software must
be updated also. (See Software #34 )
- As soon as you pay off your hardware purchase, it will be time
- Hardware becomes affordable just before it is obsolete.
- When a fix for a hardware problem is not
obvious, the problem is blamed
on the software. (See software #31 )
- Hardware maintenance contracts are sold for new machines that
don't need them. Hardware maintenance contracts are not sold for old
machines that do need them.
- Use expensive hardware. No one questions the data from an
expensive computer, even if they know the input was garbage.
- Using computers built to 'Minimum Hardware Requirements' will
yield minimal results.
- Computer hardware is leased for a minimum of twice its useful
- A lan is like a chain, it is only as good
as the weakest link.
- A lan will be loaded with 4 times the data it was designed for.
Designing with the overload in mind will not help. (See Hardware rule #1 )
- The more money you save on buying hardware, the more you will
spend on installation, repairs, maintenance and software. (Story)
- Heterogeneous networks will work given time and money. (See
software rule #52 )
- All input devices are like cats. They will ignore you at times
just to remind you who is boss.
- When someone wants to give you a free computer, it might be good
to look a gift horse in the mouth. (Story)
- Hardware without a good driver is just another brick.
- Definitions for those funny hardware slang names.
- Speed excluded
- Scrap recycled
- Slightly cheaper
- Satisfaction excluded
- Mediocre execution
- Missing acceleration
- Motion excluded
© Val Hubbard copyright details.
Hardware Rules last updated Sept 22, 2015
Hardware page last update Sept 22, 2015
These rules do not reference any specific person, company or
software package. They are comical exaggerations of the occurrences of
everyday life in the field of software and hardware. Any relation to
events anywhere past,
present or future is entirely coincidental.