- Horsepower with intelligence is a great and rare combination.
- Spending lots of money does not guarantee lots of speed.
- What looks fast, isn't necessarily fast.
- Control and proper application of power gets the fastest
- No matter how slow your car is, you want to win.
- Lots of people give advice. Being polite and ignoring some
of it is better and quicker than arguing.
- If you stop bragging long enough to listen, you may learn
- Never put down or complain about another car. Unless there
is a serious safety concern then SCREAM.
- Always compliment the work of another racer.
- Even though it looks like junk today, it may beat you
- Drag racing is ultimately a competition with your self.
- Safety comes before speed. And if there is a choice between
safety and speed, you really don't understand safety or speed.
- Follow the track rules and always be polite with the
officials, it is their track not yours.
- Without paying fans and friends, there is no track. PUT ON A
- Treat all fans with respect, even if they aren't -your- fans.
- A loosing day at the track is better than a good day fishing.
- Everyone is friendly and helpful in the pits. They are VERY
helpful when you are running against their competition.
- Winning doesn't make you a better racer, not winning is what
pushes you to be better.
- Horsepower is useless without:
Carefully consider all the things you need to upgrade,
replace and fix when you put 400 HP or more in a car that was designed
for no more than 300 HP. Think about it some more when the car is 6+
years old or when there are any signs of rust.
Don't take shortcuts in building or repairing the car, the
track doesn't forgive.
The most important thing to check before every race is the
loose nut behind the wheel.
Hurry down the track, but never in the pits.
When something goes wrong, stop! Get your foot out of the
Stay with your car, you don't make friends by making people
drive around you.
Bring your own tools. If you need to work on the car,
you wont feel like a beggar.
Be prepared before you come to the track. It is amazing how
fast time flies when you are thrashing.
Watching people thrash is great entertainment.
When your car breaks, it is expensive. When your car
breaks and the crowd groans, it was very expensive.
Horsepower and fools should never mix, but often do.
Grain alcohol should never be mixed with horsepower or
Leave leaky cars at home. Oiling or watering the track
does not make friends of the fans or racers.
- Good safety systems
- Proper adjustments
- Proper fuel
- A good driver keeping it all under control.
When you don't have an overflow for the
radiator, the first tires to hit the water will be yours.
If the brake pedal doesn't work well, the gas pedal better
not work either.
Drag cars must go straight.
off your A/C and defroster when you get to the pits and leave it
- Don't splash water on the underside of the
car by burning out "in" the water trough. It drips on your tires
and the track later!
- With RWD, wet front tires don't help
steering and burnouts won't clean the water off.
Increasing Levels of stupidity.
- If it pulls to the right, fix it.
- If it pulls to the left, go to NASCAR.
- If it goes both ways, find a road course.
Street tire rules
- "I can do what I want, I am not hurting anyone else"
- Driving out of control
- Driving beyond the cars capability
- Driving beyond the drivers capability
- Street racing
Your daily driver and your race car should be 2
Racing Regulations are written with blood.
Expect to give some or all or your own blood when you ignore them..
If you want to keep your friends, don't let them
drive the Hot Rod.
Test & Tune fun at the
- Go around the water box, you just get water all over the
track for everyone else by driving through it and attempting a burn out.
- Burn outs on street tires is useless, a couple
of revolutions to
take off the dirt is enough. Street tire burn outs may give
experienced racers a good laugh.
- Don't wipe the good rubber off the track by
spinning you street tires during the run. It slows you and everyone
else that uses the lane down.
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© Val Hubbard copyright details.
Version 1.2b Page last
updated Dec 9, 2011
These rules do not
reference any specific person or
company. They are comical exaggerations of the occurrences of everyday
life in Drag
Racing. Any relation to events anywhere past, present or future is