Commands we wish could rule

If we could add a command to improve computing, what would we wish for? Here is a list of commands that we may want to rule in future computing.

    take_training

    This command would generate an uncontrollable urge in all managers in your company to re-instate all the software training budgets they ignored or cut.

    read_documents

    All software users would gain a ravenous appetite to read all documentation available on the command of their choice.

    reading_is_fun

    All the dry documentation would now be fun to read and understandable.

    its_in_there

    When given a desired result, its_in_there will be able to list many examples of getting what you want.

    try_it_you'll_like_it

    A software user will gain the will and courage to test and try out the software. The software user will become confident that the job -can- be done with the software.

    convert_language

    When talking with the software vendor, the customer will be completely coherent, logical and easy to understand.

    convert_knowledge

    The software users 10 years of experience working with package A will be converted into 10 years of experience in working with package B.

    sort_mistakes

    This will sort out all user errors and re-instruct the user before a bug is submitted.

    mistake_not

    This command will instruct the software vendor on why it is a bug, not a user error.

    infinite_resources

    The software vendor will have infinite resources to fix the customers problems in a matter of seconds.

    retrieve_from_black_hole

    Put an enhancement request on top of the list of commands to be added in the next rev. (modifier of infinite_resources)

    great_gui

    This would merge the technology of graphical user interfaces with great interface designs.

    be_friendly

    No matter the schedule, problem or blame, everyone remains cool calm and professional.

    Plan_for_Quality

    This would be invoked during the design phase of software.  Quality would become part of the design, not an afterthought.


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 Commands we wish could rule last updated April 8, 2000.

This page last update March 22, 2011

 These rules do not reference any specific person, company or software package. They are comical exaggerations of the occurrences of everyday life in the field of software. Any relation to events anywhere past, present or future is entirely coincidental.